Jumat, 07 Januari 2011

A Fantasy

When the Ambassador or Escalopia returned home for lunch, his wife got a shock. He looked pale and his clothes were in a frightful state.
      'What has happened?' she asked. 'How did your clothes get into such a mess?'
      'A fire extinguisher, my dear,' answered the Ambassador drily. 'University students set the Embassy on fire this morning.'
      'Good heavens!' exclaimed his wife. 'And where were you at the time?'
      'I was in my office as usual,' answered the Ambassador. 'The fire broke out in the basement. I went down immediately, of course, and that fool, Horst, aimed a fire extinguisher at me. He thought I was on fire. I must definitely get that fellow posted.'
      The Ambassador's wife went on asking questions, when she suddenly noticed a big hole in her husband's hat.
  'And how can you explain that?' she asked.
      'Oh, that,' said the Ambassador. 'Someone fired a shot through my office window. Accurate, don't you think? Fortunately, I wasn't wearing it at the time. If I had been, I would not have been able to get home for lunch.'

Future Champions

Experiments have proved that children can be instructed in swimming at a very early age. At a special swimming pool in Los Angeles, children become expert at holding their breath under water even before they can walk. Babies of two months old do not appear to be reluctant to enter the water. It is not long before they are so accustomed to swimming that they can pick up weights from the floor of the pool. A game that is very popular with these young swimmers is the underwater tricycle race. Tricycles are lined up on the floor of the pool seven feet under water. The children compete against each other to reach the other end of the pool. Many pedal their tricycles, but most of them prefer to push or drag them. Some children can cover the whole length of the pool without coming up for breath even once. Whether they will ever become future Olympic champions, only time will tell. Meanwhile, they should encourage those among us who cannot swim five yards before they are gasping for air.

A Noble Gift

One of the most famous monuments in the world, the Statue of Liberty, was presented to the United States of America in the nineteenth century by the people of France. The great statue, which was designed by the sculptor Auguste Bartholdi, took ten years to complete. The actual figure was made of copper supported by a metal framework which had been especially constructed by Eiffel. Before it could be transported to the United States, a site had to be found for it and a pedestal had to be built. The site chosen was an island at the entrance of New York Harbour. By 1884, a statue which was 151 feet tall had been erected in Paris. The following year, it was taken to pieces and sent to America. By the end of October 1886, the statue had been put together again and it was officially presented to the American people by Bartholdi. Ever since then, the great monument has been a symbol of liberty for the millions of people who have passed through New York Harbour to make their homes in America.

Asking for Trouble

Why did the policeman ask the writer to come to the police station?     It must have been about two in the morning when I returned home. I tried to wake up my wife by ringing the doorbell, but she was fast asleep, so I got a ladder from the shed in the garden, put it against the wall, and began climbing towards the bedroom window. I was almost there when a sarcastic voice below said, 'I don't think the windows need cleaning at this time of the night.' I looked down and nearly fell off the ladder when I saw a policeman. I immediately regretted answering in the way I did, but I said, 'I enjoy cleaning windows at night.'
    'So do I,' answered the policeman in the same tone. 'Excuse my interrupting you. I hate to interrupt a man when he's busy working, but would you mind coming with me to the station?'
    'Well, I'd prefer to stay here,' I said. 'You see. I've forgotten my key.'
    'Your what?' he called.
    'My key,' I shouted.
   Fortunately, the shouting woke up my wife who opened the window just as the policeman had started to climb towards me.

Three Men in a Basket

A pilot noticed a balloon which seemed to be making for a Royal Air Force Station nearby. He informed the station at once, but no one there was able to explain the mystery. The officer in the control tower was very angry when he heard the news, because balloons can be a great danger to aircraft. He said that someone might be spying on the station and the pilot was ordered to keep track of the strange object. The pilot managed to circle the balloon for some time. He could make out three men in a basket under it and one of them was holding a pair of binoculars. When the balloon was over the station, the pilot saw one of the men taking photographs. Soon afterwards, the balloon began to descend and it landed near an airfield. The police were called in, but they could not arrest anyone, for the basket contained two Members of Parliament and the Commanding Officer of the station! As the Commanding Officer explained later, one half of the station did not know what the other half was doing!